tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487026496034962987.post3896978112000919199..comments2023-10-01T06:11:51.500-07:00Comments on Now & Then, Here & Now, This & That: What kind of mom?Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06922338969285483292noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487026496034962987.post-62739037726141136562010-03-05T14:21:19.442-08:002010-03-05T14:21:19.442-08:00"What kind of mom feels this way about her ki..."What kind of mom feels this way about her kids?" <br />...how about "All moms." And dads. Congratulations for acknowledging the desperate, guilty, smash-mouth feeling it is to admit it. ...And then, just cool it on the "nomenclature." Words matter. And the "Hate" word is so loaded. Just like "Love." Both have become so loaded in our language they barely mean anything. ..For example, the word "love" is an Old French derivative. It's a verb, originally. It has evolved to an adverb, a noun, an adjective... It is thought of as an "emotion" (it isn't.)One can "love" their spouse and "love" their Green Bay Packers and "love" their artichoke dip and "love" their kids all at the same time. So, when we tell our kids--or anyone else--we "love" them, we often, say more, in order to define further what we mean, ie: "I love you, Sweetheart. You are so generous with your time and energy..." and so on. Same with "Hate." One can "hate" Satan and Saddam Hussein and Adolf Hitler and pineapple on pizza all at the same time. So, it means nothing, practically. Which makes it easier, more self-acceptable to say "I hate my kids." No you don't. You're frustrated with your kids or, perhaps more accurately, you're frustrated with your kids, your husband, the tension aroused in the interfamilial relationship and the insecurities it calls up...and so on. But "hate" is not a good descriptor of how you feel about your kids any more than "love" is a good descriptor of how I feel about the Athena Pizza at Pizza Luce. (Yum.)<br /><br />-par-parnellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12348390536320796122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487026496034962987.post-1039782926439037942010-02-27T16:49:03.502-08:002010-02-27T16:49:03.502-08:00Thanks, Steph! I appreciate your encouragement - L...Thanks, Steph! I appreciate your encouragement - LOTS!Kathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06922338969285483292noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487026496034962987.post-12542852096592579912010-02-27T08:20:52.714-08:002010-02-27T08:20:52.714-08:00I bet most moms feel like this about their kids at...I bet most moms feel like this about their kids at one point or another. I know lots of times, in my head, I am thinking how one or the other of them makes me sick. :( I just think that we are moms but also HUMANS with human flaws and God knows this. I don't think anyone in the world can make us as angry as our family but also they are the only ones that make it worth it all. I appreciate your honesty, Kathy. Also, middle of the night discussions? OH YEAH. :) We totally decided years ago that what happens in the middle of the night stays in the middle of the night, though. There's not another time that we can see each other a few hours after saying or doing horrible things and act as though nothing happened and have it be okay with both of us. I don't know if that is good or bad but night time parenting is really hard and we are both only good at it up to a point. <br /><br />I'm done rambling. xoxoStephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16435886626386229165noreply@blogger.com