Have you ever read The Bloggess? You should. Go read her right now. I'm probably not going to wait for you, but you can catch up when you return. Today I was reading her at work, waiting on hold to talk to an accounts person for one of our vendors who double-billed us, and I was laughing out loud and didn't even hear them answer - twice. I want a giant metal chicken, and a half zombie monkey, and the guts to type some of this stuff on my blog.
Maybe with less cussing. (Have your heard people say "swears"? As in, "My mom used to smack me for swears." That is not even a word people. I'm not even sure it's a regionalism, you just sound illiterate. Sorry, but true! My mom didn't smack me for 'swears' because I was smart enough to not cuss in front of her, even mostly as an adult. But I did yell, "What the F*%k do you think I'm trying to do?!?" from the bottom of the basement stairs on the day of my baccalaureate, but I was far enough away to avoid the smack. AND, I don't think it was a big deal that I just wanted to ride to the service with my boyfriend. BUT, my son is riding with me and not his girlfriend, when this comes back around. I was right, but he'll be wrong.) Honestly, I'd probably only cuss less because I know it would offend some readers, and it can get excessive, but it's not like I'm reading these posts to my 1st grader at bedtime, and the placement of the swears is so perfectly ironic.
Micheal and I (he's my Victor) often talk about how I. am. funny, but nobody knows it because I am too worried about what you think so I only say this stuff to him. Stop judging me. It's effecting my creativity. Or affecting it. Now I'm worried you think I'M illiterate. Whatev.