Tucked In

"Go get in bed, I'll be there to pray & tuck you in!"

These are the words that often come out of my mouth most nights around 7pm. This is then followed with a heated conversation about teeth brushing, pajama picking, blankie finding, still-hungry arguing, need-a-drink begging & not-tired-yet whining. Finally, she's in bed, prayed up, big lights off, night lights on, can't sleep, scared, not comfortable, frustrated parents - stop yelling - got to sleep! too hot, too cold, needs the fan on, or off, can she have books? what's that noise? I'm scared!

Not. Sleeping.

This happens just about every night. Eventually, after we have soothed her, prayed again and again, convinced her she's safe, there is silence. And I wait until deep sleep comes, then I slip in, climb the ladder to her loft bed, cover her up, tuck her in, kiss her forehead and whisper, "I love you." I am usually rewarded with a sleepy, content smile, a whispered, "Mommy!" or "I love you, too," as her body relaxes visibly in the comfort of rest and warmth.

As I did this again just the other night, I was struck by this familiar routine and I felt God whisper to my heart, "I love you. I am safe, let me tuck you in." I fight, kick, scream, holler and hold on by my fingernails to not do the things that God knows I need. And God eventually wins the battle of wills I have created and suddenly I am in the place, that sweet spot, where God knew I needed to be. The spot where I can rest & rejuvenate, the time where the person He wanted me to talk to is available, the eye in the hurricane of life, the place and time the God of the universe prepared for me. And when I finally allow myself to get there, when I get my stubborn will out of the way, I realize that what He has for me really is best. He is trustworthy. He does know what he's talking about after all. And I can rest and relax, warm and safe, tucked in by my Papa.

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Grace's version of all tucked in last night.