Wednesday, December 2, 2009

You Matter

I work at a university in the IT department, but I am truly not a technical person and my role is strictly as support staff for the amazingly technical people with whom I work. I recently gave one of the staff some information they needed, for the third time, and they responded with a link via email to show me that they were including the information in a wiki so they wouldn't have to ask me for it again. The link wouldn't work, I didn't have access. (Remember, un-technical me doesn't need access to mess things up. This is really fine, because I am pretty uninterested in most of this techgeek stuff.) So I responded with something like, 'I don't have access to this site, but I'll take your word for it!' They sent this response, which I just reread today, saved in my email:
please try again.
you matter.
What? I have to admit, I have read it over a few times as I notice it sitting in my email... You should go read it again right now because it applies to you, too.

This is a lie I seem to buy into over and over, that I don't matter, that what I do goes unnoticed.

When I am working, I don't do the things our department does and that feels pretty unnoticeable sometimes.

When I am with some friends who home school their kids, I feel like the mom who (appears to) throw her kids to the wolves and send them to public school with little regard for their welfare.

When I clean the kitchen for the 2nd & 3rd time in a day, I wonder if anyone notices what I do.

When I make sure we never run out of toilet paper, ever.

When I feel superfluous in the band.

When my family doesn't care, when you don't care.

When I pour my heart out in a blog and no one comments.

When I pour my heart out to a friend and they just want to 'fix' me instead of listening.

I saw this secret on Post Secret's 50 People One Question:
I'm a lot better before you get to know me.
And I thought, "God help me, me too! I feel that way, too!"
And then I thought, "She needs to know that she matters, that she's important to someone."

So, here is the thing I think God is trying to get through my thick skull; I matter - He sees what I do. I matter. That feels almost embarrassing to type, let alone say, out loud. You try it. It feels Stuart Smalley-ish, but it's true. I matter. You matter. What I do, regardless of who notices, who comments, whose life changes because of something I do or say, it all matters. And the fact that everything I do matters should change the way I feel, it should change my attitude, and that will change the results - even when I'm doing it for an audience of One.

Whatever you do, work at it with all you heart, as working for the Lord, not men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Collosians 3.23-24

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